


Trans Tommyinnit

by DumpsterBeagle



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Over binding, Platonic Relationships, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), all platonic you fucks, but he just cant seem to, deadnaming, fun innit?, mild/mentioned transphobia, poor guy, through a dono, tommy's a little ball of anxiety and wants to come out, trans author, unintentional deadnaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:15:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28819827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DumpsterBeagle/pseuds/DumpsterBeagle
Summary: Tommy glances up at the trans flag behind his computer.Maybe he won't tell them.orTommy wants to tell his friends that he's trans, but he just can't.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 224
Kudos: 2314
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this is a warning! there's descriptions of gender dysphoria, anxiety, and panic attacks in here! most of it isn't too bad, but if that isn't your thing, this is your warning. there's also curse words, because, tommy. just,,, tommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do what i want

Tommy knew he was a boy for a pretty long time. Well, at least, he knew he wasn't a girl. Yeah, he was born a girl, but as he got older he realized that he wasn't. He felt off, he didn't feel like a girl. He knew about transgender people, sure, but he hadn't given his gender much thought until he was about eleven.  
  
He had denied himself the light of day, though. He didn't believe that he could be anything but a girl, but he always had a nagging thought in the back of his mind, and he knew something wasn't right.  
  
When he started going through puberty it was hell. He wanted it to stop. He finally started believing that he might not be a girl, because when he looked in the mirror he hated the femininity in his reflection. His frustration quickly reflected into his life, as his grades declined and he started getting angrier and more anxious. He could tell it wasn't just puberty. There was something wrong beyond that.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, he could finally accept that he wasn't a girl.  
  
He looked through some labels the night that he finally came to terms with the fact that he wasn't a girl. He looked at gender fluid, but that didn't seem right, agender, bigender, demi-girl, demi-boy, but none of them fit. And, after a long night of looking through labels he finally welcomes the idea that he's transgender, ftm. A boy.  
  
He doesn't tell his parents until a month later, after he has more time to think about it and accept himself. He knows that his parents are fine with transgender people, they just didn't want a transgender kid. They dealt with it fine, even though they started treating Tommy a little different. They called him by his new name, they got him a binder, he even got on T.  
  
He started posting videos on YouTube a few years later, about minecraft. It was a lot of fun. Once he was sixteen he was streaming on Twitch, on the Dream SMP, and had a bunch of new friends. He had about three million followers on Twitch, and about five million subs on YouTube. It was great! The best part about it, though, is that no one knows he's trans.  
  
Maybe he'll tell Tubbo and SBI someday, but he doesn't know when. He also doesn't know how they'll react. He hopes they'll be cool about it, (they all have said they support lgbtq+ people before, but his parent's changed their attitude towards him, so he doesn't know.) He really wants to tell them, because that'll make his life easier, but he also still wants to be friends with them, and he doesn't know if they'll still want to be friends.  
  
After he came out as trans a lot of his friends didn't want to be friends with him anymore. A lot of the time they would also misgender him and call him by his deadname. What transphobic shits they were. He had made a few new friends, but school was hell otherwise. He doesn't want the same thing to happen with his online friends.  
  
"-ommy? Tommy, are you okay?"  
  
Tommy shakes his head, clearing his thoughts as he emerges from his daydream.  
  
"Sorry, Tubbo, I was just thinking." Tommy responds.  
  
"Well, it's your stream, not mine." Tubbo laughs. "So, what were you thinking about?"  
  
“Women, obviously!" Tommy yells. "Why are you questioning me Tubbo?!" Tommy jokes.  
  
"I know, how dare I?" Tubbo jokes back.  
  
Tommy grins, and the friendly banter continues.  
  
About ten minutes later Tommy ends stream, but him and Tubbo stay in vc together, talking and such.  
  
Tommy is honestly so happy that he can live as a guy without his friends knowing he's trans.  
  
Tommy glances up at the trans flag behind his computer.  
  
Maybe he won't tell them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to continue this, but only if someone else wants me to


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur realizes that something is wrong...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit am terrible at coming up with names, so Tommy's deadname will just be referred to as "------".

The dono echoes around Tommy's ears, and he recoils as soon as he hears it.

"You should know that your real name is ------. Don't go acting all high and mighty, thinking that your name is Tommy."

Someone found out his deadname and used three dollars to donate it. The things transphobes will do.

Tommy tries to keep himself calm and composed, and immediately responds, "Think you got the wrong person, buddy," while trying to keep his voice from shaking. He can only keep himself together for another five minutes before he ends stream. He had noticed people in chat being concerned because he was being more quiet than usual and his insecurities got the best of him.

Once he hits the end stream button, he immediately breaks down, silently burying his head into his hands. Suddenly it doesn't feel like he's a boy, he just feels stupid. The dumb dono saying his deadname continues to run through his head.

He needs reassurance. He needs to tell someone. Through trembling hands he pulls up his discord messages with Wilbur. He types out a message.

_"Hey Wilbur, can we talk, if you have time?" ___

____

Tommy almost presses the send button before he pauses.

____

_What am I doing?_ Tommy thinks to himself, dropping his phone on the floor.

____

He's not ready to out himself. He doesn't want to, not over some dumb transphobe.

____

So, back to carrying the weight of his gender dysphoria by himself.

____

He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to think about something else, anything else. Like, how the first time he met Tubbo, Tubbo had instantly thought he was a guy. Or, how the other day he was going for a walk and someone called him sir.

____

But, nothing seems to keep him from thinking about his god damn deadname.

____

He picks up his phone again, resolving to instead scroll through YouTube to distract him.

____

He tries to take deep breaths, but his breathing is already restricted from his binder. He wonders how long he's been wearing it. He's definitely been wearing it too long. Maybe, fifteen hours. But, there's no way he's taking it off now after hearing that god forsaken name.

____

He then sees a notification from discord, and he scans over it, quickly realizing it's from Wilbur. He clicks on the notification to read it.

____

_WilburSoot: Hello child. I was on your stream and you seemed pretty upset after someone mentioned ------. Are you okay? ___

____

____

____

Tommy flinches as he reads the name. As if this day wasn't bad already.

____

____

____

Tommy types out a short response, hoping to get Wilbur off of his back.

____

____

____

_TommyInnit: I'm fine! I was just pretty tired_

_____ _

____

_____ _

_WilburSoot: Mhm. Sure._

_____ _

____

_____ _

Tommy groans, typing out another response.

_____ _

____

_____ _

_TommyInnit: I'm being serious! I'm just tired._

_____ _

____

_____ _

_WilburSoot: Tommy, it's eleven pm._

_____ _

____

_____ _

_TommyInnit: What? I'm a growing boy, I need my sleep._

_____ _

____

_____ _

_WilburSoot: So, you admit that you're a child_

_____ _

____

_____ _

_TommyInnit: No, I'm a big man._

_____ _

____

_____ _

_WilburSoot: Whatever you say._

_____ _

____

_____ _

_WilburSoot: Anyways, who's ------? You don't have to tell me if you don't want, but I can tell that it's definitely not just nothing._ __

______ _ _

____

______ _ _

Tommy squeezes his eyes shut, closing discord. He needs a distraction not a constant reminder of his deadname. He can answer Wilbur tomorrow, when he's not on the verge of a panic attack. He switches back to YouTube, scrolling endlessly while his eyes are still filled to the brim with tears. Then, when he thought he was in the clear, he gets another discord notification.

______ _ _

____

______ _ _

_WilburSoot is calling you. ___

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

Tommy pauses before rejecting the call. About two seconds later Wilbur calls him again. And again, once Tommy rejects the second one. The fifth time Wilbur calls him, Tommy sighs and picks up the phone.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Hey, Wilbur."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Tommy. What's wrong? Are you okay? Who's ------?" Wilbur immediately asks.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

Tommy squeezes his eyes shut. "Please, please, don't say that name." Tommy rigidly requests.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"I'm sorry." Wilbur apologizes. "Do you want to talk about who that is? You don't have to tell me anything, but I just want to help."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

Tommy takes a deep breath, trying to make a decision on what to tell him.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"I'm sorry." Tommy mutters.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"What for?" Wilbur asks, and doesn't receive a response. "Tommy, you can tell me. I mean, if you don't want to, that's understandable."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

Tommy takes a deep breath as he prepares for what he's about to do. So much for not telling his friends.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"It's my deadname," Tommy mumbles, trying to speak clearly, but he can't.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"It's what?" Wilbur questions, softly.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

Tommy clears his throat, awkwardly, and repeats, "It's my deadname."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Your deadname. Like, the name you don't use anymore?" There's audible confusion in Wilbur's voice, and Tommy purses his lips hearing it.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Yeah..." Tommy elongates the word, waiting for Wilbur to realize what this means for Tommy.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

After a few seconds Wilbur speaks again.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Oh."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

Tommy inhales sharply. "Yeah.."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"So, does this mean that you're.. trans, Tommy?" Wilbur asks, calmly.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"It does." Tommy pauses. "I'm sorry, and if you don't want to hang out with me anymore, you don't have to, just please don't out me." Tommy croaks. There's silence for a few seconds and Tommy bites his nails in anxiety.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Oh, Tommy... Of course I still want to hang out with you. I'm glad that you told me. I'm so proud of you." Wilbur breathes out. "I just want you to know that I'll always support you. I don't care how you were born, you'll always be Tommy to me."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

Tommy lets out a breath that he didn't know he was holding in and grins. "Yeah, I shouldn't have been worried, because we're like brothers, you and I." He lets out a breathy laugh.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Don't say that, I will cry." Wilbur responds, automatically, and Tommy laughs. "So... does anyone else know?"

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Well, you, my parents, and some idiots at my school. Other than that, no one." Tommy replies.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Hm." Wilbur hums in affirmation. "Do you think you're gonna tell anyone else? Obviously, you don't have to, I'm just wondering."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Maybe Phil, Techno, and Tubbo, at some point. Maybe the SMP too, if I'm feeling adventurous."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Nice." Wilbur responds. "Want to continue to talk, or are you tired?" 

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"I dunno." Tommy shrugs, forgetting that Wilbur can't see him.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"Wait, Tubbo's live. Want to see if we can crash his stream?" Wilbur asks, the smirk seeping into his voice.

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

Tommy grins. "We're on the same wavelength, dirty crime boy!"

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"I see we are, child."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"So, see you in Tubbo's vc?"

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

"See you there."

________ _ _ _ _

____

________ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the support on the first chapter jkshdfkd!! I'm thinking about continuing this for at least a few more chapters, but if it keeps getting support, who knows, I might do more!
> 
> also, please follow my tumblr! I want to talk to people :D  
> my username is @ beaglesfoundindumpsters  
> I would totally take requests for writing, or criticism, or really anything :]


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We love Tommy not taking care of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support on this story :]

Overall, Tommy is glad that he came out to Wilbur. Obviously, it was nerve-wracking, and scary, but Wilbur was accepting.

That didn't stop Tommy from continuing to bind for way too long. It's been about twenty-something hours since he came out to Wilbur, and he hasn't taken his binder off once. Having a flat chest just helps to reassure him that his deadname means nothing, and that he is a boy.

After Tommy joined in on Tubbo's stream, all of chat were relieved that he was okay. He guesses he did leave his stream kind of abruptly, so he can understand the source of the worry. But, now he has Wilbur to help him through his troubles.

Tommy decided against streaming, today, (mostly out of fear that he would get deadnamed again), and decided to just chill on other people's streams, or stay in vc with his friends. It was going to be a chill day. And a chill day it was. But, the next morning was not chill.

It was Friday, so Tommy was going to fuck with his sleep schedule, and stay up well into the morning.

At about two in the morning was when everything started going wrong again.

Tommy's high off sleep deprivation, and was delirious with pain from not taking off his binder.

He was sitting in a vc with Wilbur, Phil, Eret, and Fundy, who were just talking about their plans for their Dream SMP lore. Tommy was being pretty quiet, just listening into their conversation.

"No, I totally think that people think Sally is a shapeshifter or something." Wilbur groans. "She's a fish. I've said that. My character fucked a fish, and that's final."

Wilbur rants about lore about as much as Techno kicks orphans. A lot. 

"We know, Wilbur," Eret responds, with a light tone. 

"How about you, Fundy? Are you okay with your mom just being a fish?" Phil asks.

"I mean, it's not like I have a say, anyways," Fundy laughs, earning from chuckles from the group.

"Wilbur, why do you always make the most crack lore?" Phil asks. "You're making me regret being a father."

"Well, you're not my father in real life, so," Wilbur retorts.

"Yeah, that would be terrible," Eret laughs. 

"You like being my father, right, Philza Minecraft?" Tommy asks, jokingly.

"Not really," Phil laughs.

"You dickhead. If you didn't make Minecraft I would have to kill you. You are an absolutely terrible person, and I think that you should die," Tommy replies, his words quick and rushed.

"That's the most I've heard you talk today, Tommy!" Phil laughs.

"Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that," Wilbur starts. "You're being uncharacteristically quiet. Are you just tired, or..?"

Tommy purses his lips. The reason he's been quiet is because he's been in pain. So, how is he gonna lie his way out of this one?

"Yeah, I've, uh, just been kinda sore." Tommy winces at how unconvinced of himself he sounds.

"Why are you sore?" Phil asks.

"Did you join a sports team without us knowing?" Fundy jokes, and there are some laughs throughout the group.

Tommy coughs, and responds, "Growing pains and all that- just, yunno, the ol' ribs are just hurting!"

Shit was that too specific?

Wilbur gasps quietly, realizing what Tommy means, and Tommy suddenly has a flood of discord messages from Wilbur.

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

__

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

__

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

__

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

__

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

__

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

Tommy scowls at the messages, and is snapped back to reality by Eret's speaking.

"Oh, that must suck. Being a teenager was the worst." Eret sympathizes.

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

__

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

__

_WilburSoot: TAKE IT OFF_

Tommy turns off discord notifications for Wilbur's chat to focus on the conversation at hand.

"Yeah, it does suck." Tommy agrees.

"At least I'm not a teenager anymore," Fundy states. "All teenagers are terrible people."

"Not me, I am the best person." Tommy protests. 

"No, I can vouch for Fundy, teenagers are the worst." Phil responds.

"Hey, Tommy, come into a separate VC with me for a moment," Wilbur speaks up, and Tommy groans in response.

"Ooh, is he in trouble?" Fundy asks.

"Yes." Wilbur responds, semi-seriously.

"Do I need to be there?" Phil asks. "Has he done something wrong?"

"I'm right here, you know," Tommy deadpans.

Wilbur ignores Tommy, responding to Phil. "No, you don't need to be there, I just need to talk to him. We'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay, you guys have fun, then." Eret says, and Wilbur leaves the VC to invite Tommy to a private call. Tommy sighs, leaves the VC, and joins the new call.

Tommy is immediately greeted by Wilbur speaking sternly.

"Take the binder off, Tommy. Take it off. If your ribs hurt you should take it off." Wilbur states.

"No, I'm good Wilbur, I promise," Tommy lightly says.

"How long have you had it on?"

"Well, I, uh-" Tommy stutters.

"How long have you had it on, Tommy?" Wilbur repeats, more sternly.

"Well, uh, about that... it's been, maybe twenty five hours?" Tommy mumbles the end of the sentence, but Wilbur still hears what he says.

"Go take it off, Tommy. Now. That can seriously hurt you, permanently."

Tommy sighs. "I know, Wilbur. It's just that, ugh. I don't like the way I look without it."

"I know, and that must be so crappy, but you have to understand that this is hurting you." There's a small sigh from the other side of the phone. "Just, please, please, take it off."

Tommy hesitates for a few seconds before responding. "Yeah. I'll go take it off." He responds, defeated.

"Great. Thank you. Are you gonna come back to the other VC afterwards?" Wilbur asks.

"Yeah, sure." Tommy responds.

"Okay, now, scurry away, child, and take off your binder. I'll speak to you in a few minutes."

"You are so weird," Tommy mutters, before ending the call and walking away.

Tommy does take off his binder. He also thanks Wilbur the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can literally tell that I'm a sucker for Tommy and Wilbur being brothers. Welp. Oh well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet up haha :]
> 
> Give Tommy some gender euphoria, and maybe, he might be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that, (if you didn't read the tags), all of this is platonic and if you ship minors or people uncomfortable with being shipped please leave my page. Thank you.

Tommy looked in the mirror before brushing his hair. (He brushed it twice, just for good measure.) Then, he brushed his teeth and put on some fresh clothes. Today was going to be good, he was going to make sure of it.

He was nervous, sure, because today not only would he be meeting Wilbur, Phil, and Tubbo again, but this time he would be out to Wilbur. No pressure.

Tommy takes a deep breath and checks discord for any new dms. They were going to meet in a park that's close to Tommy's home. This time Tommy's parents weren't going to be there because it was in Tommy's city, but Tubbo's dad would be there for the beginning part, (to meet Phil and Wilbur and such.) They had all quarantined for two weeks and got covid tested, so they were fine in that category. Tommy is so excited, and deathly nervous too.

He sees that he has no new messages and turns off his phone, closing his eyes for a few seconds to collect himself, before walking out of his room and shouting a goodbye to his parents. He leaves his house, a crumb of confidence lining his grim expression. He has a backpack on his back, with a water bottle, a camera to film the meet up, an extra mask, and his keys and his wallet.

He makes it to the park in a few minutes, his mask on his face, and his backpack on his back. As he scrolls through twitter aimlessly, waiting for Tubbo, Phil, or Wilbur to arrive.

He doesn't know if they'll arrive together, or if they'll be late, or what, so he opts for sitting on a park bench, scrolling through twitter aimlessly, waiting for Tubbo, Phil, or Wilbur to arrive. He was ten minutes early, anyways, so he has time.

\---

Tubbo got to the park fifteen minutes late, with his dad, while Phil and Wilbur arrived together, twenty minutes late. Phil, Wilbur, and Tubbo's dad started talking with each other, and then Tubbo's dad went off on his own to go on a walk around the city, leaving the four twitch streamers to their own accord. At this current moment in time, they were walking around, Tommy showing them around the city.

They end up having lunch an hour later, at a random restaurant that Tommy likes. (Everyone else ended up liking it too.)

Near the end of the day, at five in the afternoon, the group makes they're way back to the park that they started in, and Tubbo leaves once he sees his dad there. Phil ended up leaving pretty soon after Tubbo too, leaving Wilbur and Tommy to talk.

Phil, Tubbo, and Wilbur would be spending their night in a hotel, then they would have breakfast with Tommy in the morning before returning to their respective homes.

Once the other two leave, Wilbur and Tommy sit on a bench in comfortable silence.

Wilbur breaks the silence. "Tommy."

"Big dubs."

"How was today? I think it was pretty good," Wilbur states.

"I agree," Tommy responds. "Thanks for not telling the others about me being.. yunno, trans?" Tommy chuckles.

"You shouldn't have to thank me. It's common decency, really. What kind of person would I be if I outed you?"

Tommy pauses. "A pretty bad one," He laughs. "A transphobic one," he adds. "And you would be a crappy brother." Tommy grins, jokingly.

Wilbur smiles. "You're an idiot."

"I hate you."

"Why?"

"I'm getting deja-vu."

"Me too," Wilbur agrees, pausing before adding, "Not the bad kind, though. Nostalgic."

"Yeah. I'm tired," Tommy furrows his eyebrows.

"I can tell," Wilbur laughs. "You're literally being so quiet, man," Wilbur teases, lightly.

"Yeah. It's been a good day, but a long one."

"It has."

"I might..." Tommy pauses, before shaking his head lightly.

"You might what?"

Tommy looks at the ground, then looks at the sky. "I might come out to Phil and Tubbo tomorrow. I think that they'll be fine with it."

Wilbur grins, looking at Tommy, then ruffling his hair. "I'm proud of you. You're a good younger brother to have. Though, you are very annoying."

Tommy glares at Wilbur. "Fuck you."

Wilbur rolls his eyes. "Gremlin child."

"I'm not a fucking child, Wilbur!" Tommy yells.

"Oh, shut up," Wilbur lightly smacks the back of Tommy's head.

"You're an idiot, you know that right?" Tommy asks, lightly massaging the back of his head. Wilbur shrugs and there's a silence for a few seconds.

"Okay, I'm going to head to my hotel now." Wilbur stretches, standing up. "Take off your binder when you get home, and see you tomorrow, okay?"

Tommy stands up too. "Okay, sure."

Wilbur turns to face Tommy and stares at him, before pulling him into a short, two second hug, before pulling away and holding Tommy by the shoulders and keeping eye contact. "You're my brother, Tommy, and I'm proud of you."

Tommy breaks out into a grin. "Where did that come from?"

Wilbur scowls, dropping his hands to his waist and looking away.

Tommy grins even wider and hugs Wilbur back. "Thanks, Wil."

Wilbur takes a few moments to process what's happening, but hugs back after a few seconds.

They stay in that hug for about ten seconds before they withdraw, and say their goodbyes. Or, rather, "see you laters."

Tommy is a little more ready to come out to Phil and Tubbo, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to stop writing only Tommy and Wilbur. Whatever. Next chapter will have more people, I promise. (Kind of.) (But, really, I'll try to include more people.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet up part two ayy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW- mentions of food

When Tommy got home after speaking to Wilbur he was filled to the brim with gender euphoria. It had been such a good day, and he hadn't been even mildly misgendered the entire day. It was just so good to feel so much like a guy. (Tommy _is_ a guy. Tommy grins.) Wilbur had really helped too. (Tommy would never admit it, though.)

He's now standing in front of the restaurant that the group are going to have breakfast at, taking a few deep breaths. He's going to come out. It'll be fine. Wilbur will be there.

"Hey, Tommy," someone says from behind Tommy, and Tommy turns around to see Philza Minecraft, ( _the_ Philza Minecraft, crazy, right? What a guy.), standing there. "What are you doing?" Phil asks.

"I'm drowning a child," Tommy responds, sarcastically. Phil laughs in response.

"Let's go inside," Phil chuckles, gesturing to the doors. "I bet that Tubbo and Wilbur are already there."

Tommy nods and opens the door, moving to the side so Phil can walk in, which he does. 

Phil and Tommy find their table and, as Phil said, Tubbo and Wilbur are already there, talking about who knows what. (Once Tommy and Phil join in the conversation it turns out to be about how Tubbo could probably start an "aw cult." Whatever that means.)

They order their food, and it gets there not long after. They start eating it, joking and talking the entire time.

The end of the meal nears, and Tommy starts getting antsy, due to the fact that he still hasn't said anything about him being trans. He said he would come out, why is it so hard, now?

The panic starts setting in as most of them finish their meals, leaving only Tubbo with food on his plate.

Crap. How should he do this? He has to think of something to say. Why didn't he think of things to say before? You know, when he wasn't in a restaurant surrounded by the people he was supposed to come out to?

He should do this quickly. It's like a bandaid, just rip it off. But, would that be insincere? He doesn't want to be rude.

The sounds of the restaurant around him seem to go in one ear and out the other as he halfheartedly laughs at the things his friends say.

Tommy feels his eyes unfocus as he stares into space, trying to decide what he should say. Welp. If he's gonna do it, might as well just do it.

"I'm trans," Tommy blurts out.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Silence fills the table as Phil and Tubbo turn to Tommy and Wilbur smiles at Tommy.

"Okay, uh, pog. So, she/her pronouns?" Phil speaks first.

Tommy shakes his head aggressively. "No, no, no, no! Uh, ftm, still he/him! Please do not use she/her!" Tommy gushes.

Tubbo nods, solemnly. "Okay, cool, man."

Wilbur lightly punches Tubbo's arm. "Stop being so sullen, idiot. You're being too nervous." Wilbur grins.

Phil laughs. "Well, thanks for telling us, man! That must've taken some courage."

Tommy nods, relieved. "Yeah, more than you would think."

Tubbo grins. "I'm proud of you, Tommy! I'll always support you. You are my best friend after all!"

Tommy grins, "See? You're the clingy one!"

Wilbur rolls his eyes, shaking his head, and Phil laughs. Then, Phil turns to Wilbur.

"I take it you knew?" Phil asks.

Wilbur nods, smirking. "Yeah. I am his big brother after all!"

Tommy makes an indignant noise. "I told you because I was upset!"

Wilbur shrugs. "Same difference."

"I can't believe it! Wilbur admitting to being Tommy's brother without crying!" Tubbo teases.

Wilbur scowls.

Phil laughs, again. "Yeah, Wil, you seem to get very emotional over that!"

Wilbur rolls his eyes. "At least I don't have children, asshole."

Tommy zones out for a second. It went so well. He can't help himself from grinning. He's just so happy to be able to be out and seen. Tubbo, Phil, and Wilbur are some of the best friends that anyone could have.

\---

Later that night, when Tommy is back in his house and Tubbo, Wilbur, and Phil are gone, Tommy decides that he needs to make a call.

He needs to come out to one last person. It's not right to come out to all of the people that he did, and not come out to him also.

Tommy takes a deep breath before messaging Wilbur what he's going to do.

Wilbur responds quickly.

_WilburSoot: Okay, cool. Good luck, man. I know that he'll accept you._

Tommy smiles at the message before checking if the person is online. He is. He's not streaming either, which is good.

Tommy clicks the call button, hoping, (praying would be more accurate), that he picks up. He does.

"Hullo," Technoblade's voice comes clearly through the call. Clearly he was using his mic, not his phone.

"Hi, Techno," Tommy responds.

"What's up? Are you calling me just to call me or...?" Techno questions.

"Actually, I, uh, have something to tell you."

"Damn it, did you kill someone?" Techno sighs. "I don't actually kill people in real life, I would have to call the police if you did."

"No, no no," Tommy responds, his words slurred. "I didn't kill anyone! Why would you think that?!"

Techno grunts. "That's good. So what did you have to tell me?"

Tommy pauses. "I, uh. I'm trans. I used to be a girl, but now I'm not, as you know. I felt like I should tell you, because the rest of sbi knows."

Techno doesn't respond for a moment. "Okay. That's cool." He pauses. "Sorry, I don't really know what to say. I'm not good with this stuff."

Tommy smiles, knowing that even though Techno is awkward, he's being sincere. "That's fine. I just wanted to tell you," Tommy responds.

"Nice. Well, I-I, uh. Care about you, man. So, thanks for telling me," Techno's monotone voice somehow sounds ten times more caring than usual, and Tommy grins.

"Thanks. Anyways, it's dinner time for me, so talk to you later?" Tommy asks.

"Yeah, sure," Techno responds. "Bye, Tommy."

"Bye Techno."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter :]
> 
> It just gave me good vibes
> 
> (Thank you for all of the kudos and comments, they give me life hskfd)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy doesn't shower because of dysphoria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you @princely_trash for suggesting the idea for this chapter! This was fun to write, but did hit a little close to home lmao. 
> 
> CW- mentions of food

Tommy lays in his bed, head sinking into the pillow as he wallows in his own sadness and filth. His brain is being so contradictory to him. It's telling him, "Shower, shower, shower, shower, you're disgusting, you're filthy, shower," but it's also telling him, "You're body is terrible, it's not right, you don't want to see that, do you? Don't shower."

Tommy groans, rolling over onto his side. He feels so icky, but the last thing he wants to do is shower.

At least he's been changing his binder. (It's not like Wilbur would let him forget.)

Tommy grabs his phone, checking the time. He was supposed to record today with Wilbur, Phil, Big Q, and Tubbo. He has about five minutes until the recording is scheduled.

He stretches, and gets off of his bed, walking out of his room and into the hallway. He walks to the right and walks into the bathroom. He checks his reflection in the mirror. As expected, he looks like shit. He looks so fucking.. feminine. He hates it. Maybe he should reschedule the recording.

The blonde teen sighs and shakes his head.

No, he can't reschedule the recording. Everyone is available right now, and he doesn't want to have to find another time that works.

Tommy quickly brushes his hair and splashes water on his face to make himself semi-presentable. He looks back at the mirror, and he looks a little better. Good enough. He walks back to his room, fluffing up his hair a bit on the way back.

He hops on his PC, getting the Minecraft world and mod up and running, turning on his camera, mic, and starting the recording, then inviting everyone who would be in the video to a VC. They entered the VC, greeting Tommy.

Let's get this recording going.

\---

By the end of the recording Tommy still feels yucky, but at least now he's been talking to his friends for a while, which always makes his day a bit better.

Once the recording ends, Phil leaves to go be with his wife, and Big Q leaves to go stream with George, Karl, and Sapnap.

Now, Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo, sit in a video chat together, chilling. Tubbo's eating a sandwich, and Wilbur looks like he's about to either pass out or start jumping off of the walls, and Tommy can't tell which one. It's funny, with Wilbur, because you usually can't tell if he's sleep deprived or high off of caffeine.

And, Tubbo? He's blunt as always.

"You look like shit, Tommy." Tubbo pauses. "You kinda sound like shit, too. You doing okay, big man?"

Tommy winces. That comment did a wonder for his self esteem. "Yeah, I, uh, have just been feeling some dysphoria, nothing serious."

Wilbur lets out a hum of affirmation. "Have you taken off your binder in a while?"

"Yes, yes I have, for your information," Tommy huffs.

"That's good," Tubbo pipes up. "Anyways, the dysphoria. Wanna talk about it?"

Tommy lets out a groan. "Maybe?" He groans again. "Ugh, I don't know."

"Well, you can if you want to," Wilbur speaks. "Don't feel obligated to do anything."

"Yeah, I agree with Wilbur," Tubbo adds, smiling.

"I know, it's just," Tommy starts, then pauses again, his eyebrows furrowed. "I want to tell you guys what is happening, but it's kind of disgusting."

"It's fine, Tommy, Wilbur eats sand!" Tubbo grins, menacingly.

"You meant that as an insult, but I am not taking it as one," Wilbur responds.

Tommy nods. "I guess I'll tell you guys, but don't blame me if it's icky."

"We won't!" Tubbo choruses.

"Yeah, we won't," Wilbur agrees.

Tommy purses his lips. "As I said earlier, my dysphoria has been really bad recently. I've been taking off my binder, luckily, but I can't stand to look at my body. So, I haven't showered in a while. Hence, looking like crap," Tommy explains.

Tubbo frowns. "That sounds pretty crappy. And it obviously can't be hygienic. Do you know about any way you can take a shower without it being terrible?"

Tommy shrugs. "Well, some trans people turn the lights off so they can't see anything, but there's still this existential dread knowing what _is_ there. Especially on bad dysphoria days."

"That sounds shitty," Wilbur sympathizes. "I wish that there was something I could do to help."

"You guys being here has already helped a lot. Thank you for that," Tommy says.

"No problem, man," Tubbo replies, easily. "I hope that once you feel better you can take a shower."

Wilbur looks off screen, contemplating something for a moment, before looking back at the call. "Maybe you could just wash your hair for now. And, like, your face. You don't have to take off any clothes, you can just lean your hair into the water, yunno. And, you'll feel a bit cleaner."

Tommy thinks about it for a moment, before nodding his head in agreement and grinning. "Yeah, I think that would work! Thanks, big man."

"Don't mention it," Wilbur responds.

Tubbo adds, "Maybe you should go do that now. You can call us back later, if you want, but I think it'll help you feel better."

Tommy nods, and the call ends soon after that.

Tommy quickly makes his way to the bathroom, towel in hand, and turns on the shower. Once the shower heats up he pulls out some shampoo, puts his head under the water and lathers the shampoo all over his hair. He massages it in for a few seconds, before rinsing it out.

He already feels a lot cleaner.

He pulls out some soap, and washes his face off with it.

Then, he dries himself off with the towel.

He feels so, so much cleaner. And, there was minimum dysphoria. Score.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, a new chapter so quickly after the last one? I just was really in the mood for writing lol.
> 
> Anyways, this is something that I actually do because I deal with a lot of shower dysphoria. (Is that what it's called?) I just wash my face and hair, because that makes me feel a bit more clean, while also not giving me too much dysphoria.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's been lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is gonna be a lot of discord messages.

Tommy's been lying.

He has.

No one wants to be friends with the trans kid.

That's why he lied.

All of his friends will hate him once he tells them.

Phil, Techno, Wilbur, and Tubbo were a fluke.

Or, even worse, they're lying. They actually do hate him and they don't have the heart to tell him.

Maybe they're talking about him behind his back.

Tommy bites his nails in anxiety, slightly rocking back and forth, knees folded and being held up by his free hand.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Tommy mutters to himself, going over every single situation in his head. He wants to tell them, to stop lying to his friends, but what if they hate him? He can't lose them. "Fuck."

Tommy _can't_ lose them. He doesn't want to.

But, if he loses them, that means they're transphobic. Maybe they wouldn't be the best to keep around anyways. But. They're his friends. Crap. Why does this have to be so complicated?

Maybe he should just tell them. Stop lying to them.

Tommy's breath quickens just thinking about telling them. It was one thing telling his online family and best friend, it was another thing to come out to all of his other friends.

Okay, think about this logically. No one on the SMP has been transphobic in the past, at all. So, they should be fine with it, right? After all, Eret uses all pronouns, and there are multiple other people on the SMP who are lgbt+.

It's fine. It's fine. Right?

He should just tell them. They won't care. There's no way that they'll be transphobic. Okay, maybe he shouldn't think that, that's going to jinx it.

So, they just will deal with it fine.

Tommy pulls out his phone, pulling up the Dream SMP discord server.

He goes to the general chat. Some people were talking on it already.

Time to craft a message.

_TommyInnit: @everyone So, this is a bit more serious than the normal Tommyinnit. I just kinda thought that it was important to tell everyone. You guys are my friends, (except for you lazar, I hate you.) So, I hope that you boys won't care that much, because the thing that I'm about to say shouldn't change anything. If it does, then that's a you problem._   
_I'm ftm trans. So, I was born a girl and transitioned to be a guy. I knew that if I told people that openly when I started on YouTube and Twitch I wouldn't get anywhere, or make any friends, so I didn't. I'm sorry that I've been lying, but I hope that you guys won't be mad or anything._

Now to wait for the responses.

Tommy has to wait about a minute before anyone says anything. That's fair. They probably need to read the message.

_Nihaachu: Cool! Thanks for telling us, Tommy! You haven't been lying, and this is obviously personal to you, so don't feel bad! <33_

_TheEret: Pog, dude. I'm glad that you could trust us enough to tell us._

_Dream: Awesome! This won't change anything at all, and I'm proud of you, man._

_WilburSoot: Good job, Tommy._

_Tubbo_: :D_

_Ranboo: OK TOMMY THAT IS POG_

_ItsFundy: COOL_

_BadBoyHalo: TOMMY :D_

_Skeppy: UwU_

_BadBoyHalo: OwO_

_Ph1LzA: Pog_

_Quackity: AHHHH OK_

_Slimecicle: I genuinely did not know I was in this discord server. How did I get added? Anyways, COOL TOMMY_

_Purpled: the same thing happened to me, Charlie Slimecicle. One day I wasn't here, one day I was_

_Vikkstar123: That's how servers work, dipshit_

_HBomb94: NiCE UwU_

_ConnerEatsPants: You have been pretty mean to me in the past. Though, this is pretty cool_

_JackManifold: I still do not like you, but good for you_

_FoolishG: :0_

_Sapnap: For some reason as I read that, I thought you were going to say that you killed someone, so I am relieved_

_Punz: Nice_

_CaptainPuffy: I'm happy for you, Tommy!_

_Ponk: Ok_

_Ponk: Can you return the stuff you stole from me?_

_KarlJacobs: OK *thumbs up*_

_Antfrost: Eret. Puffy. Niki. Karl. We have a new person in our ranks._

_TheEret: It seems we do._

_CaptainPuffy: Yes._

_Awesamdude: Awesome, Tommy!_

_hannahxxrose: :)_

_LazarBeam: I want to be nice, but come on man. There was no reason to put that._

Tommy lets out a breathy laugh. This is going better than he thought it would.

_TommyInnit: Of course I had to put it, who do you think I am?_

Tommy grins at the chat and closes his phone. He genuinely can't believe that it went that well.

Then, he gets a new notification from a dm from Eret on discord.

He opens it and sees the link to a new discord server called, "LGBT DSMP!"

Tommy joins the server to see a pretty simple server with only six people, other than him. Puffy, Eret, Niki, Ant, Karl, and Velvet.

Tommy beams, as he realizes what it is. It's an entirely separate server for the lgbt people on the Dream SMP. (And Velvet. But, he's an honorary member, Tommy assumes.)

It's such a small server. It only has a normal voice chat, a general chat, and a few more chats.

He goes into the general chat, and sees Eret and Niki greeting him.

_hairdye bisexual: Hey, Tommy!_

_ERET THE BICON: Hi!_

Tommy smiles, barely able to contain his excitement. He just feels so goddamn accepted.

He sends his first message.

_TommyInnit: IT IS ME THE GREAT TOMMYINNIT_

_PUFFY SIMPS FOR GIRLS: IT IS HIM THE GREAT TOMMYINNIT_

_TommyInnit: Are you mocking me?_

_PUFFY SIMPS FOR GIRLS: NEVER_

_Loves Antfrost: CHOOSE A NICKNAME_

_Loves VelvetIsCake: THAT IS YOUR INITIATION_

_TommyInnit: My what now?_

_hairdye bisexual: Just change your nickname, Tommy_

_hairdye bisexual: They won't stop until you change it_

_ERET THE BICON: CHANGE IT CHANGE IT CHANGE IT CHANGE IT_

_KARL FROM ACE MOUNTAIN: YOU HAVE TO CHANGE IT_

_KARL FROM ACE MOUNTAIN: IT IS TRADITION_

_TommyInnit: Change it to what?_

_hairdye bisexual: Anything_

_TommyInnit: OKAY??_

Tommy goes to the sidebar to change his nickname.

What should he choose? Probably nothing too complicated.

Oh! That's an idea.

_TommyCisn't: This good enough for you assholes?_

_KARL FROM ACE MOUNTAIN: YES YES YES YES YES_

_Loves VelvetIsCake: Good job!!_

_PUFFY SIMPS FOR GIRLS: WELCOME TOMMYCISN'T_

_Loves Antfrost: WELCOME TOMMYCISN'T_

_ERET THE BICON: WELCOME TOMMYCISN'T_

_hairdye bisexual: WELCOME TOMMYCISN'T_

_Loves VelvetIsCake: WELCOME TOMMYCISN'T_

_KARL FROM ACE MOUNTAIN: WELCOME TOMMYCISN'T_

_TommyCisn't: Damn._

_TommyCisn't: Thanks_

_hairdye bisexual: :')_

_TommyCisn't: Also, is Ace Mountain a real place? And, be honest with me here, is this a cult? Because, I've had experiences with cults before and I won't be mad_

_KARL FROM ACE MOUNTAIN: Nah, Ace Mountain isn't a real place_

_KARL FROM ACE MOUNTAIN: Maybe one day Jimmy will buy a mountain and I'll convince him to name it Ace Mountain, though_

_ERET THE BICON: Oh, we have so much to teach you_

_TommyCisn't: Wait, so, is this a cult?_

_TommyCisn't: Is this a cult?_

Tommy closes out of discord, confused, but happy.

God, that went so goddamn well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that the last chapter of this is going to be chapter eight! Thank you to everyone who has supported this story, it really makes my day that people like it :]


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy tells the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!! (Please read the notes at the end, I'm gonna talk about what I'm going to do in the future.)

Tommy takes a deep breath.

This is it.

This is where he tells everyone.

He's ready.

Wilbur's on speed dial, his friends have been alerted, and the "LGBT DSMP," discord server is pulled up on his second monitor.

He took down the trans flag that was behind his computer in order to lift it up and show the audience. Well, if he's gonna do this he's gonna go all out. Pride flag and all.

Tommy clicks "Start Stream."

Obviously the stream starts on the "Stream Starting Soon," screen, giving Tommy a few more minutes to just breath. Of course he's ready, he's just goddamn scared. Ain't no crime in being scared. _~~(can you tell I'm american)~~_

After a few minutes Tommy starts speaking.

"Hello, chat!" He says through the starting screen music. "This stream is going to be slightly more serious, but don't worry, boys, nothing bad!"

After the song ends he turns on his webcam, and grins. "HELLO BOYS!" He exclaims. "How are you today, chat? I'm doing pretty good!"

Chat floods with people talking about their days.

"My day has been great! I ate a sandwich earlier, and it was GREAT!" Tommy beams. "Anyways, on with the stream! This stream is going to be kind of short, because it's just an announcement." Tomm pauses before continuing. "I mean, or course I could've done this on Twitter, but, come on, Twitter is the worst."

There are a bunch of people agreeing with Tommy in chat.

"I'm going to get hate for this, but, you know, that's life!" Tommy chuckles, nervousness bubbling in his stomach.

"Okay, now onto the announcement! Well, I don't know how to say this, but I'm trans!" Tommy grins. "I was born a girl, and now I'm not, as you guys probably know. Now, I'm the biggest man, ever!" Tommy boasts. "Oh yeah!" Tommy remembers the trans flag and picks it up, showing the camera. "My flag!" He wraps the flag around his back.

"Anyways, I guess I should talk a little bit about this, then I'll answer some questions, then I can end the stream." Tommy explains. "So, as I said earlier, I'm trans. I haven't said anything until now, because I wasn't ready to be out to the world, and I think that's fair." Tommy ponders for a moment whether he has anything else to say. "Well, I think that that's it, so if you have any questions, ask away!"

Tommy looks at the chat for the first time, and he sees the chat flooded with pride flags, and he almost glows at the support. He genuinely can't help from grinning. Then, all of the donations with questions come in.

Tommy spends the next twenty minutes answering questions and donations, that range from questions about his life, gender, or even random stuff.

For the most part everyone is super nice about it, and it makes Tommy super happy. 

Tommy ends stream on a happy note, his pride flag wrapped around his shoulder.

He went onto twitter and "TOMMY CAME OUT," was trending. There were multiple messages from the "LGBT DSMP," discord server congratulating him. Wilbur, Phil, Techno, and Tubbo all congratulated him, and Wilbur offered to call him. The Dream SMP discord server overflowed with supporting messages.

Tommy took Wilbur up on his offer, immediately calling him.

"Wilbur! Wilbur, I did it," Tommy exclaims upon Wilbur picking up.

"I know, I was on the stream," Wilbur responds, lighthearted exasperation in his voice.

"Wow, so rude," Tommy rolls his eyes.

"Dude, I'm so proud of you," Wilbur says.

Tommy smiles. "Thanks man."

Tommy built his family from the bottom up, and he loves them more than anything.

"You're an asshole," Wilbur responds.

"Fuck you," Tommy grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! THIS IS THE END! Kind of a short last chapter lmao.
> 
> I can't thank you guys enough for supporting this story, whether you were leaving comments, kudos, or you were just reading it, thank you. You guys are insane.
> 
> I can't even fathom that twenty people read this, but it got OVER FOURTEEN THOUSAND HITS!!! THANK YOU!!!
> 
> Now, before you leave, I want to talk about future stories! I have a lot of ideas for future stories, some of which will be longer than this one, some of which that'll be shorter, all of which I am very excited for. Nonetheless, if you like my writing, consider continuing to read my stories, and maybe you could even follow my Tumblr, which I will take requests and shit on! (my username is beaglesfoundindumpsters, if you want it!)
> 
> And, again, thank you so much.
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> Beagle :]


End file.
